I often forget the rules of male etiquette. I forget the ritual. Sorry, guys, but a lot of you have allowed your chivalrous sides to fade, if it was ever even there to begin with. It's not your fault. We've beaten it out of you. We perch on our soapboxes, legs crossed, wearing three-inch heels, waving our hands and barking at you that we don't need a man. We can open our own doors, thank you very much.
It's true, I might not need a man. I just want one. A gentleman. A couple of weeks ago I silently went out and about with my own little social experiment. I paid attention to how men treated me when I let them be men instead of sabotaging every kind gesture that came my way, via a nice fellow, with my classic female antics. The results were refreshing. They also reminded me how nice it is to be a lady on ocassion.
What happened to me once, twice, even several times, by many different men, while I was paying attention?
· The door was opened for me.
· His coat was wrapped around my shoulders.
· I had help with my coat.
· My seat was pulled out for me.
· He found out what I was having and ordered for both of us.
· He kept my glass full.
· He offered me an arm while we wandered down city sidewalks.
· He walked on the outside of the sidewalk.
· He asked if he could get me anything.
· Then he fought the crowds to get it.
· He was on time.
· He let me take a break from making the decisions.
· He paid. Discreetly and without fanfare.
· He led up the stairs as well as down.
· He listened, made eye contact and asked questions.
I might draw some criticism, but I don't care. Being taken care of was astonishingly pleasant. Like huge-smile-long-after-the-night-was-over pleasant. To bear witness to tiny testimonies from the men that care about me was luxurious.
Let me be clear. Manners are important not just for men, but for women and the little humans we're raising, as well. It's a part of our language. It's how we tell people who we are and how we were raised. Guess what? You can open the door for me anytime.